Free Yourself from the Spell of Consistency (In the Wrong Direction)

I received my Certificate for Completion of Training in July 2019 after spending 10 years of my life:

• Revising for exams

• Fighting for annual leave

• Working sleep deprived Night shifts

• Being treated like shit as a Junior Doctor

• Being placed in random areas of the country

• Missing Birthdays, Weddings, Christmas, letting down friends and family.

When I had finally completed my training and was fully qualified as a General Practitioner everything changed.

Everything that I’d suffered through up to that point melted away… Or so it seemed.

From the very beginning of the journey the overarching narrative was—

‘It’ll be worth it in the end’

But this was just a belief that was programmed into my mind as a medical student.

Over the next 10 years it was repeated every time I questioned or doubted my decision to commit to a medical career.

“It’ll be worth it in the end”- said my friends, family and mentors.

I felt like I was joining an elite club and this was the initiation I had to pass so I could reap the rewards.

With that belief system firmly installed, when I reached the end I expected salvation. I felt so relieved my suffering was over, I’d finally made it to the promise land.

Fast forward to July 2023 to the complete dissolution of this belief that had sustained me through 4 years of job dissatisfaction.

Its easy to look back in hindsight and think why did I not realise after a few months...

There was nothing significantly different about the conditions back then compared to now.

The thing is back then, I actually did feel like it was worth it. That belief had completely changed my perception of reality.

All the effort I’d put in, all the opportunities to enjoy my 20s that I’d missed out on were worth it.

That’s what I believed, thats what I wanted to see… IT HAD TO BE WORTH IT DAMMIT!

But this was just the initial polish that shined on the turd.

It seemed that it gradually faded after 4 years to reveal the truth and I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.

What causes this polish that has the power to make someone stay in a place that isn’t right for them?

What makes people feel stuck when deep inside they want to be free?

The answer is Commitment and Consistency.

Committment and Consistency

In the book ‘Influence’ by Robert Cialdini, he states—

“Once we make a choice or take a stand, we encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to think and behave consistently with that commitment. Moreover, those pressures will cause us to respond in ways that justify our decision.”

Commitment and Consistency are the psychological principles of influence that are at work when we:

• Stick to a New Years Resolution

• Remain in an undesirable Job/Career

• Read through a long form social media thread ;)

• Buy a Car for a higher price than initially agreed

• Finish watching till the end of a movie or TV show

• Only buy the same brand of clothing, gadgets, food etc

This pressure to remain consistent is multiplied by the amount of effort and resources spent in pursuit of the end goal.

This is what made that shiny polish of my newly qualified GP role so irresistible.

When you have committed to something based on favourable circumstances.

You have to be aware that if those circumstances change you are no longer required to remain consistent with that commitment

No one is going to come for you and say:

“Well you wanted to be a doctor because you thought it’d be a great career to have.”

“Now that you’ve realised that’s not true, you have to stay tied to it for life even though it makes you miserable or I’m not going to respect you anymore.”

Is there any reasonable human being you know that would actually say something like that to you?

Or maybe, just maybe… YOU are the one that’s saying it to yourself?

This isn’t the same as just being all frivolous and fickle jumping in and out of different things with no care in the world.

This is about real deep and meaningful realisations of truth— it may take 4 months to know, it may take 4 years to know.

The most important thing is that once you know… YOU KNOW.

Don’t delay taking action because you think you are trapped in some unbreakable pact. Like you’ve sold your soul and will die if you break the contract.

NO! This is about finding your soul, finding the life that you want to live.

If you don’t feel in your gut and heart of hearts that it is right for you. Then it is not.

Yes it is going to require more effort now. You’ve already worked really hard to get to where you are and the temptation is to think that you deserve to rest.

But all you are doing is coasting by until you completely run out of gas.

Then what? Blow all your money on that expensive Holiday to refuel before returning back to the misery.

NO! Stop living through the memories of holiday photographs and start working so you can live everyday as if it was a Holiday.

If you want to have fun and enjoy your life instead of working hard all the time then you need to invest in yourself.

How to free yourself from the Spell of Commitment and Consistency

First and foremost…

YOU ARE NOT STARTING FROM SCRATCH

Everything in life is interconnected, every experience we have is relevant and can be applied to improve our future outcomes.

Spending long periods of life in the same area of learning narrows our focus, we end up believing that the acquired skills are only applicable to that one area.

Imagine spending 10 years only ever driving a Lorry and feeling like you were unable to then switch to driving a Car.

My 4 Step Method to Release the Spell

It took me a while to wake up, but after all those snoozes I created a reflective exercise I want to share with you. Try this if you want to snap out of your own stupor.

1)Reflect on Your Original Commitment

Think back to when you made the original commitment.

Note down everything that you thought and felt when deciding to commence that path.

Take some time with this.

You might want to:

• Make a mind map

• Draw a picture

• Record audio or video of yourself speaking

Whatever you feel is the best way to express it.

Now sit and review everything that you’ve noted and answer the following question…

Why did I make the choice [length of time] ago to commit myself to [Chosen area]?

Write down your answer in one or two clear concise sentences so your subconscious mind pays attention.

e.g

Question: Why did I make the choice 16 years ago to commit myself to a career as a Doctor?Answer: I wanted to be able to help people and see them become the best versions of themselves.

2)Reflect on the Change

You may want to allow some time for the ‘Why’ of the original commitment to marinate in your mind. You may feel like you know straight away what’s changed.

This time start by thinking about the sentence you wrote for Why.

Write it down in the middle of a fresh piece of paper.

Around this write all of the things you can think of about your current reality that have changed since you made that original commitment.

Now review all the notes and write one or two clear concise sentences to answer this question

What is the most important thing that has changed since I committed myself to [Chosen area] [length of time] ago.

e.g

Question: What is the most important thing that has changed since I committed myself to a career as a Doctor 16 years ago?

Answer: The system that I work in does not allow me to provide adequate care so I don’t feel like I am helping anyone.

3)Compare and Contrast

Review and compare the answers to your questions from part 1 and 2.

You are now free from the influence of commitment and consistency.

These 2 clear and concise sentences should help you to consider whether the reason for the past commitment you made is aligned to your current situation.

What is your first instinct Yes or No?

4) Make a new Commitment

If your first instinct is No then you need to make a new commitment right now.

Commit yourself to a Journey.

Either: Continue to look for the answer to the initial commitment in different direction.

Or: Has your life situation has changed now, do you have a new purpose to commit to?

Thats all for now

Lewis

P.S

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