The Infinite Potential of Self Actualization

Have you ever questioned why the self improvement industry seems to be going crazy now days?

‘Become the best version of yourself’ seems to be the go to phrase that everyone is using.

Where does this come from?

Until about a year ago I had no idea what Self-Actualization was or what it meant.

I was completely consumed by living a comfortable routine life.

Work, Eat, Sleep and then just Play during any left over time.

I had everything I needed to survive but I felt like there was still an emptiness that I couldn’t quite figure out.

It wasn’t depression, it was more like a constant underlying feeling of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). If someone had asked me during that time

‘Do you feel like you’re missing out on something?’

It probably would have thrown me into a full blown existential crisis.

As I became more unsatisfied with the work I was doing as a GP the feeling grew even greater. I started frequently asking myself questions like:

Why am I doing this?

This role keeps making me feel miserable, I have no passion for this thing that I’m spending the majority of my time on earth doing.

What is my purpose?

This definitely isn’t it otherwise why would I have FOMO. You could pay me all the money in the world and I still wouldn’t want to do this for the rest of my working life.

What do I want to do? Who am I really?

A 2023 survey by HP of over 15000 people world wide found that:

• Only 28% of people say their work gives them a sense of purpose

• Only 28% report the work they do is meaningful.

Its quite grim to see that the majority of people are working in jobs that they don’t feel fulfilled by.

In an ideal world we would all have access to some kind of magic ‘Sorting Hat’ that we place on our heads when deciding what to do with our lives. It would explore our minds whilst mumbling away,

“Ahh”, “Oooh”, “Interesting”, “You have potential in this and that”  

Before finally exclaiming for the world to hear a clear and succinct description of who we will be. Then you could just get straight to it and enjoy a lifetime of purpose and meaning in your work.

Unfortunately we are mere muggles that have to struggle through life sorting ourselves into the wrong houses.

Maslows Hierarchy of needs

Self Actualization was first described by Abraham Maslow, who is known as the grand father of positive psychology. He studied successful and fulfilled people who were living their best lives.

He thought this was the natural human state that everyone could achieve if they could overcome inner blockers to their full development and maturity.

Maslow is most famous for the Hierarchy of Needs he created, which describes different levels of what humans need to survive.

The problem is that people too many people get stuck before reaching the top level which is Self-Actualization.

They are playing the same level of a video game over and over again without ever progressing upwards, after a while its starts to become boring and meaningless, there’s no real fun or joy.

To briefly summarise Maslows Hierarchy of Needs:

Level 1 = Basic needs for oxygen, food and water, without which we would die.

Level 2 = Shelter and Safety. We need protection from hazards of the natural environment and predators (including other humans)

Level 3 = Sense of Belonging to a Community. This might be our family, clubs, teams, organisations. This also includes the need for friendship, love and intimate relationships.

Level 4 = Esteem from others. Respect, Recognition and Admiration. External Validation.

Level 5 = Self Esteem. We measure ourselves by our own criteria rather than by how others see us. We have higher standards of ourselves. We become independent. Self Validation.

Self-Actualized individuals are no longer driven by the need to prove themselves either to themselves or anyone else. They want their work, activities and existence to have real value and make a contribution to others.

Once we have fulfilled the basic needs on the bottom of the pyramid that ensure our physical survival— we need to keep moving towards Self-Actualization to ensure our psychological survival.

Its as vital as water or any essential vitamin.

A deficiency in self-actualization causes the inner decay of your soul, over time you will start to rot from the inside out.

Keep Climbing the Pyramid

Self-Actualization is the state of having achieved our full potential in life.

I.e becoming the ‘best version of yourself’ through seeking personal growth and fulfillment.

Self-Actualization is independent of external rewards like money, prestige or recognition. These factors tend to be a by-product only.

Self-Actualization is about a Journey rather than a destination. 

There is no maximum level cap you can just keep going and going and going on an infinite upwards spiral.

Consider the list of historical people that are often considered to exhibit characteristics of self-actualization:

• Leonardo Da Vinci

• Mahatma Gandhi

• Mother Theresa

• Nelson Mandela

• Albert Einstein

• Socrates

• Rosa Parks

• Marie Curie

• Ludwig van Beethoven

• Helen Keller

People who become self-actualized are true to themselves and their purpose in life. Their internal self resonates perfectly with their external reality.

This enables them to become extraordinary.

Self-improvement Boom

A lot of people get stuck on Level 4 or 5 because they aren’t aware they have the potential to be anything greater.

For me personally the inexplicable sense of FOMO I felt was my thirstiness for Self-Actualisation.

I realised what I needed to do was put on my own imaginary sorting hat and reflect on myself to understand the disconnect between how I felt internally and my external environment.

This is an internal drive that should occur instinctively in all people but as Maslow learned there are inner blockers which prevent it.

As modern society has developed and basic needs are met more people are becoming independent and looking beyond Esteem needs.

It makes sense that the self-improvement industry is poised for significant growth over the next 10 years.

Consider for example the millennial generation I’m part of;

1. We accept the value of mental well being and support.

2. We are also of an age where we are nearing or at the top of our career ladder

This begs the question… I’ve made it to the top what now?

Why am I still not happy?

Mental Blockers and How to Overcome

Most people don’t do enough self-reflection to even begin starting the move toward self-actualization.

In order to move forward you need to know what to do or change. But mental blockers exist that stop or delay us getting there.

Here’s a 6 examples:

1)Sunk cost fallacy:

My favourite.

When you’ve invested a great deal of time, money, resources into a career or activity that ends up not feeling right for you, it becomes harder to make a change.

People fixate on what they’ve already spent. The pain at the thought of wasting their resources blocks the awareness that the place they are in is not right.

“I’ve come too far to throw away all those years of studying”

The way to overcome the Sunk cost Fallacy is to detach yourself emotionally from the past investment and focus on the future benefit of changing and self-actualization.

2)Fixed Mindsets:

Some people believe that everyone is born with fixed traits like intelligence, talent and skill. You either have them or you don’t.

To these people trying to develop skill in an area they are not immediately competent at creates a great deal of discomfort. This is amplified when being observed by others and perceived as having failed.

The way to overcome a fixed mindset we’ve discussed before is to develop a Growth mindset. You have to believe that you are capable of developing yourself through effort and consistency.

3)Victimhood and Martyrdom:

Some people are well aware of their inner dreams and their reality not matching.

But instead of trying to change their reality they make excuses and complain that the world is against them.

They focus on blaming external factors and other people as the reason that they have not achieved their potential.

They may fixate on problems in the world that they have no control over to distract from their own internal problems.

They may frame it as a self-sacrifice on behalf of people close to them in an attempt to displace the feeling of emptiness with nobility.

I said it before and I’ll say it again- Self-Actualization is a Journey not a Destination. As long as you are alive there is always something that you can do to improve yourself no matter how small.

There are no justified resentments. You always have the power to choose your response and attitude to whatever life throws at you.

4)Risk Aversion:

Self-Actualization may require changing to a completely different life direction, one which does not guarantee financial success.

When we consider that our basic needs in life, food, water, shelter,safety, are all essentially met due to our financial income— The threat of the pyramid collapsing underneath us is very real.

The good news is that self-actualization is a strong enough motivator to justify the potential detrimental impact on our personal needs.

The bad news is that it might not be strong enough to justify the needs of the people that depend on us.

Essentially we have to aim for balance by developing a Healthy Selfishness.

Healthy Selfishness is recognizing and honouring our own worth, needs, and desires while also respecting the worth and autonomy of others.

5)Addictive behaviours:

Similar to victimhood and martyrdom, people are aware of the mismatch between their inner dreams and outer reality.

The vast majority seek an escape from the dissonance by:

• Clouding their consciousness on a regular basis with alcohol.

• Distracting themselves with constant consumption of mindless social media.

They can also depend on various other activities or substances for transient dopamine hits of pleasure to make up for the pain that comes with the awareness of not achieving their potential.

Awareness of the behaviour is the first step to overcoming it. You have to replace unhealthy repetitive habits with healthy habits.

Self-help books or seeking professional help may also be helpful.

6)Value by Association:

This is the way in which people derive their sense of self worth from the achievements of other people.

2 common examples of this are sports fanatics and pushy parents.

You can’t reflect on yourself if you’re concentrating all your psychological energy being obsessed with someone or something else.

You have to remember to live your own life and not solely live vicariously through the actions of others.

You only have control over yourself at the end of the day.

Fix your Time-Space Continuum!

You can’t change your past but you can change your future trajectory.

We make decisions everyday which effect our future. Even doing nothing is still a decision that you have the choice to make.

Imagine an alternate reality where you made all the right decisions and you had the exact life that you wanted.

You had no mental blockers and were able to achieve your full potential, you were Self-Actualized.

Choose to believe that there are an infinite number of Self-Actualized future versions of you— that have lived the exact life you have lived up to this moment.

The difference between where you are now and the future Self-Actualized version of you lies completely in the daily decisions you make from this point onwards.

You have to ask yourself whether you want to:

• Feel fulfilled and happy

• Feel alive and purposeful

• Benefit and inspire other people

• Be making a contribution to society

• Have abundant energy fueled by passion

This isn’t science fiction,

Its real and you can make it happen right now.

Lewis

P.S

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