Why I want to Help Introverted Doctors

The summer I graduated medical school 2013, was probably the height of my social career.

I was a young 23 year old with a lot to celebrate and was making the most of my freedom prior to starting work as an F1 (Junior Doctor).

Having a good time and enjoying life with the friends I’d made over the past 5 years was all that was on my mind.

I had a great group of close friends and numerous amicable acquaintances within the student scene.

I still remember the pre-drinking ritual I had with my housemates before every night out…

It would be a group of us 5-7 guys sat in our living room on our ancient mixmatched sofas watching MTV.

We’d be chatting shit, cracking jokes and hyping ourselves up to be as cool as the guys in the music videos- popping bottles and surrounded by multiple girls!

Its funny because even though we were aware it was kind of lame from the outside, we were at peace with it.

There was no pretence or pressure to be anything other than ourselves.

Sometimes I’d enjoy that more than the actual night out.

To this day any reunion night out with my old housemates tends to revert back to the same nostalgia.

It was comfortable, It was familiar, I could relax and be myself.

Midway through the summer I moved 350 miles up north from Nottingham to Dundee to start my F1 Doctor job.

It was a new city, a new job, a new hospital, new people.

It sucked, I just wanted to be in my familiar environment with people that I knew and was comfortable with.

My social high had come crashing down and I had to start rebuilding from scratch.

I missed the ease to socialising that I’d grown used to.

But this now felt like the one time in my life where I was acutely aware of needing god like energy to try and make new friends and be social.

I struggled for a while adapting to my new life. It was the long hours and unfamilar environment that killed me.

I just didn’t have enough energy to want to then go out and socialise with people I didn’t know.

Like we talked about last week it was going from a day of pain and discomfort at work to then putting myself in further pain and uncomfortable social situations.

But why was it so painful and uncomfortable for me?

Its not like I didn’t want to make friends.

I just didn’t have the resources to connect with anyone on a level that energized me.

The only person I could rely on for those guaranteed vibes was myself.

Authenticity as an Energy Source

Considering the experience I’ve described above it shouldn’t be surprising that I score strongly as an Introvert on every personality test I’ve ever taken.

Introverts are just built different.

We get energy from authenticity.

Of course we need social connection because we are human but it has to be authentic.

When its superficial or disenguinous we get drained and eventually have to retreat into our shells to recover.

If you want to get an idea of your own personality type you can do this for free here:

Mine is INFJ.

If you’re not into personality testing don’t worry about what that means.

Everything to know about me is in the parts of the story I share in these emails.

Back to the point

I’ve been writing this email newsletter since Nov 2023 with the intention of sharing my authentic thoughts and ideas.

This has of course been incredibly energizing for me!

Its a way of using my need for deep and meaningful conversation to create value.

I guess its more of a one sided monologue than a conversation, but that tends to happen when I feel like people are genuinely interested in listening to me talk about my passions!

I hope reading them has provided inspiration and knowledge that you can relate to and use to improve your life.

At this point I feel like I’ve gotten all of the miscellaneous things out of my system that had built up over the years.

So now what I’d like to do is focus the conversation more to have a greater impact on one specific group of people.

And that’s introverts, specifically introverted Doctors like me.

The View from Here

Looking back at my life before I committed to my authentic ambition to become a fulfilled Life Coach—

I wish I’d made more of an effort:

• To put myself out there and make new friends.

• To persevere past the unbearable small talk and get to know more people through deep meaningful conversation.

• To take responsibility for presenting myself authentically and attracting the people that resonated.

I’ve always felt medicine was a very homogenous, incestuous culture.

As medics we are very vulnernable to judgement from everyone because of the level of responsibility we hold for peoples lives.

In the eyes of the law and official regulatory bodies a large part of that judgement is based on how the majority of our colleagues think or act in any given situation.

In a sense our livelihood depends on conformity.

We are rewarded for it and punished when we stray too far from the pack.

Is it any wonder then that exposure to this culture holds us back from:

• Being ourselves.

• Accepting our own unique personalities.

• Feeling free to express them whilst we are at work.

I’ve learnt so much about myself in the last 8 months thats helped me stop sleep walking towards a life I didn’t love.

And it feels great to have made so much progress.

But I know that if I can help the person that I was prior to waking up—

That would feel even more meaningful.

If I can help:

• The person who is fed up of working in system that doesn’t play to their strengths.

• The person who is afraid of speaking up and sharing their valuable ideas in a large group.

• The person who feels forced to put on a persona at work for fear of coming across as rude, boring or not a team player.

• The person who feels like they aren’t outgoing enough, confident enough or loud enough.

This was me, I was this person for my entire career as a Doctor up until I started my self-improvement journey last year.

Trying to fit myself into the mould of the perfect Doctor according to a society that values Extroversion caused me so much unnecessary stress.

It made me feel bad about myself like there was something wrong with me.

It was like the whole world was a constant song and dance and I was the only one that could see it.

I’d try and speak normally to people and they’d look at me flabbergasted for not doing the customary theatrics.

I took the reactions personally, they hurt me.

I was constantly on edge waiting for the appropriate time to get up and leave the theatre.

I felt disengaged from a huge part of my life.

I realised that all of this was creating a hole that was killing my potential and gradually cutting me off from my true self.

I had visions of myself by day living as this character that I didn’t recognise and then by night stewing in resentment and negativity over it.

That’s when I knew that change was needed to save my future.

I just needed to be myself in public, the way I was in private and with people who knew me and loved me for it.

Conclusion

You might be thinking why am I telling you all this?

Where’s the actionable list of tips that you can apply to your own life?

Well this is it, everything you’ve just read is the tip.

The reason I’m back in control of my life now is because I’m embracing my weakness and vulnerability.

I’m putting myself out there, stepping into the arena and ‘Daring Greatly’ as Brene Brown would say.

When I started writing this email I just wanted to inform you that I had finally decided on a niche for my Life coaching.

But then all of the thoughts and feelings underneath that bubbled up and I chose to let them cook, no censorship, no restrictions just raw authenticity.

It feels great to share what’s real and true about myself.

I really want you to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to receive this message.

It means the world to me.

Its already changed my life so much and all I want is to continue to use this platform to grow and return the favour.

Thats all for now

Lewis

P.S

• I help Introverted Doctors Escape Career Stagnation by being True to Themselves.

• If you or anyone you know needs help I’d love to talk it over.

• Feel free to comment or reach out to me via X, Linked-In or IG.

• The content for my free product to help with positivity is practically finished. Now to jump head first into a design rabbit hole on Canva.

I’d love to hear what you thought of this newsletter. If you liked it just reply to this email, “Vibes”, it will honestly make my day!

Thanks again.